Sister Connection in Burundi

Photo from Sister Connection.org

If you love Africa and feel led to help those in need, take a look at Sister Connection. My friend, Denise Patch, started this organization designed to serve widows and orphans in Burundi, Africa. Currently, Denise is attempting to raise funds to provide widows and orphans with a summer camp opportunity. This is a wonderful way to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Please consider sponsoring a widow or an orphan! Giving is so easy, and can change a life forever.

This is from Sister Connection's Facebook page:

From the President's Desk . . .

"I have two chickens and they are laying eggs. If you were near, I could send you some eggs, but I am afraid that they cannot reach you safely."
-- Beatrice, Sister Connection widow

When I was a child growing up in Burundi, I loved having guests drop in unannounced. As we welcomed them in, they would give my mom a basket wrapped in colorful cloth. In keeping with their custom of opening gifts in private, she would take the basket to the kitchen, untie the cloth, and lift the lid off the basket to reveal some food item from our visitor's garden or livestock. Often it was eggs. Mom would remove the eggs, and fill the basket with a gift from our pantry. Often it was white sugar--a luxury item for our subsistence gardener friends.

One year, a devastating drought brought horrible famine. Their staple crop, beans, had failed. Our Burundian friends were hungry and always short of food. Though my missionary parents launched relief efforts in collaboration with international organizations to bring beans to the region, it was taking time. For weeks, the beans from last year's harvest grew scarce, and hunger was escalating to starvation. It was during this time we received a visit from one of the local pastors. He and his wife were special friends to our family. Though I was young, I noticed the signs of stark hunger in their faces. Their cheeks were sunken and they looked frail. In their eyes, however, the light still shone, and their love for Jesus and for us was strong. When they handed my mom the traditional gift, I went with her to the kitchen. She unwrapped the beautiful cloth, and slowly lifted the lid off the basket.

What she found there brought my mom to tears. Nestled in the basket was a small pile of beans. For a few minutes, she stood there with her head hanging from slumped shoulders, broken by the sacrificial love of our friends.

"How can we receive these beans?" she whispered. "This is probably the last of their supply. How can I give them sugar when they need these beans? Yet, how can I refuse their gift?"

My heart was changed in that moment. As I stood looking at two handfuls of pinto beans, I saw Jesus. I was only 10 years old, but I understood that what looked like a pile of dried beans was actually a sacrifice of love that could cost our friends their lives. It sounds silly to think a basket of beans bearing the value of life, but the famine was severe. Our friends had just given us from the last of their food, knowing we didn't need it, but wanting to show us how much they loved us.

It hurts to be loved that deeply.

That's how deeply our widows and orphans love you. Whether you sponsor them, build homes for them, give scholarships to orphans, contribute to critical needs, send their children to camp, or give to the "ministry support" fund so Sister Connection can exist, they love you for it. Our widows and orphans consider your love, provision and prayers to be among the greatest gifts they have ever received. Out of their poverty, they would give you their best-because they want to show you how much they love you. The ocean prevents you from receiving a basket wrapped in colorful cloth filled with eggs or beans, but I hope you receive it in your heart.

The gift we want to provide to over 500 widows this summer is a spiritual retreat, and we also want to give the gift of camp to over 1300 orphans. Three days filled with fellowship, worship, encouragement, teaching, laughter, tears, prayer, and as many beans as they can eat.

Your participation in this gift has already been incredible. To date we have received $20,386 toward our need of $50,000 (about $30 per widow or child). $29,614 is still needed for all to participate. Together, I believe we can fill the basket with enough beans to feed the hearts, minds, and bodies of our widows and orphans.

If you would like to be part of this gift, here are three ways to contribute:

• Give online https://www.egsnetwork.com/gift/gift.phpe
• Give by credit or debit card over the phone by calling our office at 623-882-1393.
• Contribute to this gift by mail: Sister Connection c/o FMF, PO Box 580, Spring Arbor, MI 49283.

Together,

Denise Vibbert Patch
President
Sister Connection

P.S. We are hoping to receive all the funds by June 15 to give our Burundian team enough time to plan food and transportation before the first camp begins on July 9.

Addis Ababa, part 2

It was another early morning for us women... up at 4:30 a.m. A 10 hour time difference really plays havoc with your body! The great thing about getting up so early is that it is the perfect time to call Arizona. Dear husband insists that I call him everyday, just so he knows I'm alive. He sounds pretty good, this time around. I'm sure it helps having my mom and dad staying at the house. What a sweet gift their stay was for our family. (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

By Wednesday morning, T. and I were getting to see the "real" S.: funny, loud, and crazy! He loves his blue sippy cup, his kid's camera, and the iPad. Yes, the iPad. He really enjoyed the free Lego game that T. had downloaded before the trip. It only took him about 5 minutes to figure the whole thing out. He also enjoyed listening to the Beatles and Audio Adrenaline.

S.  loves technology already!

The power is down, and remained off the entire day. Thankfully, the camera is charged and ready to go. I am also very thankful that we brought a flash light this time. I really don't like the idea of using candles with little kids around! Anyway, it was kind of a relief that the power went off, as S. just can't leave the downstairs TV remote alone. Buttons are SO exciting!

After a scrumptious breakfast, we headed to the Thomas Center for the optional physical exam by Dr. Desta. I did receive records that he had been treated for cellulitis, intestinal tapeworms, and chicken pox. Dr. Desta believes his limp is due to an adhesion of the knee cap; I pray that that is all it is. Poor baby.

Next on the agenda today is a visit with extended family--- G.'s birth mother, and B. and A.'s birth father. Abdissa from YWAM Mercy Development (Tsebay's husband) was kind enough to bring our kids' family over to the Ethio-Comfort. It was quite nice to have a quiet, more private visit. 

For some of you who have never visited with birth family before, I want to really encourage you to take  advantage of this opportunity. Not only is it a relief and healing for the birth family, but it is a truly humbling blessing for the adoptive family. It allows you to see adoption for what it is: a joy birthed through pain. When you are confronted face-to-face with the painful side of adoption, it gives you a more accurate view of the process. It also grows your compassion, allowing you to put yourself in another's shoes--- if just for a few moments. Without the love of Christ in my heart, I do not think I could appropriately process this experience. 

We visited with our Ethiopian family for a couple of hours. They enjoyed receiving photo books and other framed photos of their children; they also liked being able to ask questions about how their children are adjusting. We laughed a lot together, and did not shed tears until it was time for the visit to end. This is the third time I have met with my kids' family, and I must say that I absolutely consider them an integral part of our family. We all understand that we are in this parenting relationship together--- and that adoption can be positive.

So Fun!

At Last! Pick up from the Thomas Center and US Embassy

First moments together!

T. and I arrived in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia on Sunday, May 20, 2012. We managed to sleep a few hours before meeting sweet S. on Monday morning. I had the great pleasure of seeing my dear friend, Tsebay again!

Manager of Ethio-Comfort, Tsebay Bekele

After enjoying a delicious breakfast of coffee, scrambled eggs, steamed whole-grain wheat, firfir (injera with onions, garlic, and tomatoes), toast, and waffles at our favorite Ethio-Comfort Guest Lodge (251-911-662894), we waited for our personal driver to arrive.  Children's House International now gives parents a referral for English-speaking drivers to assist you with all your needs while in country. This person only works with one family at a time, and is totally dedicated to serving you--- day or night. Initially, we thought the price of $80 a day to rent a van was rather steep; however, this turned out to be a good investment. Not only did our driver speak fluent, understandable English, but he was a wealth of information regarding Ethiopia. I learned a lot more about Ethiopia--- its politics, its culture, and its place in the international arena-- than I had known before. Our driver (Yoftahe, ET number is 0911 210712) is also a father of young children, so he was quite an asset and seemed to really enjoy his work. Additionally, our driver was, for the most part, on time... which is indeed a wonderful thing for a time-conscientious American!

Yoftahe picked us up at the Ethio-Comfort Guest Lodge at 9:30 a.m., and we drove to the Thomas Center. The drive gave T. a very quick glance at the congestion and busyness of Addis--- lots of people, all trying to cross mini-van filled streets. Donkeys and goats decorated the highway medians, providing another obstacle for our driver to dodge.

View from balcony of Ethio-Comfort (newer or the two houses)

We had our very own cows to watch!

Upstairs bedroom with private bath (sorry for the mess)

Inside Ethio-Comfort. Kitchen serves all meals and offers "American-friendly" cuisine

Inside Ethio-Comfort

Inside Ethio-Comfort

View from outside guest lodge

Pulling through the huge metal gates, we were instantly greeting by S. and another YWAM family. What a greeting it was! Flowers and huge hugs from my new son, and tearful greetings to another traveling family (who also endured a long process).

First mango ice cream

Not the first orange soda... but still delightful!

S. was very comfortable with T. and with me almost immediately. I was very surprised that he seemed to adjust so readily. The best thing I did was give him a kid's camera that had a video function on it; this kept his hands occupied for HOURS! He photographed and videoed every moment of our initial time together.

We only spent a short time at the Thomas Center, and then headed out to get some coffee, orange soda, and ice cream. I was rather shocked that S. liked ice cream--- it took our other three Ethiopians several months to enjoy that treat (one still does not eat ice cream). Samuel enjoyed the time out with us, and he stayed close to us. He did not attempt to run off into the street, and just sat rather confidently and quietly chugging his soda. Again, my other kids would have run off in all directions and become a total nightmare... would the good behavior last? His behavior was so good, that we did do a bit of grocery shopping for all the "essentials," including berbere, dabo kolo, kolo, shiro, Addis Tea, and a couple cases of purified water.

After shopping, we headed back to the guest lodge. S. loved the guest house! He jumped up and down the stairs, dove and flopped on the sofas--- all the while singing to his new family. He truly loved having someone cherish him!

We did bring S. a bag of little toys, including coloring books, sticker books, Play Dough, and cars. However, the "hits" were still the camera and the play cell phone. He didn't care much about anything else... except the new clothes and shoes. He currently wears a 4T top and pants, and a size 10 shoe. Pretty small sizes, considering he is at least 5--- he has already lost his bottom two teeth, and has permanent teeth growing in.

The rest of Monday was spent playing, reading, and bathing. It is very obvious to me that his nannies at the Thomas Center truly loved him. He enjoyed being read to, and could let us help him. S. was busy, but not hyper. He was happy--- ate well, slept well, and just seemed to love everything. 

Little man with his nanny--- and camera

Tuesday was US Embassy day. We spent the morning relaxing and getting to know each other. S. had one episode of tears, but it was short-lived and not too intense. The staff at the Ethio-Comfort stepped in, reassuring him. They truly helped make the transition smooth. The lodge's driver and all the staff spend a lot of time with us; they played with S. and interpreted all his conversations. Ethiopians are extremely hospitable people, always wanting to spend time with people. The Ethiopian staff prepared him for  the Embassy, warning him that it may take some time. He didn't seem to care.

The new US Embassy is visually impressive and quite beautiful! The staff was professional, friendly, and efficient. The substantial waiting room has a play house and a play slide; this kept many kids occupied and happy. Our wait time was a short 30-45 minutes. I was called up to the window, and signed a form. The agent then asked for AN ADDITIONAL Power of Attorney... thankfully, I had taken an extra copy--- just in case. I could only lift praises to the Lord for placing on my mind to take an extra POA, as Children's House did not ask me to take one. 

After the Embassy, we took a short drive up to Mount Entoto. Compared to our last visit, there were many more women hauling huge loads of wood down the mountain. It just pained me to see the women's expressions: exhaustion and pain. Just what were those massive loads doing to the spines of these women? 

A woman hauling a load of fire wood: Mount Entoto

T., S., and I went through the Mount Entoto/St. Mary's museum and Palace grounds. S. was not too interested in the museum part of this excursion, although the museum guide was able to keep his attention for about an hour. S. did enjoy climbing the stairs at the site, and loved the view of Addis from the summit.

St. Mary's

Palace grounds

These ladies love me!

King for a day!

View of Addis from Mt. Entoto road; shepherd hats made by local children

View of Addis

When we pulled over on the side of the road to take pictures, we were quickly surrounded by children and women--- each attempting to sell us the items they made. We did not feel uncomfortable; we felt humbled. We did purchase 5 boy's shepherd hats and some spices from one of the women. Yoftahe, our driver, explained to us that he sees the same women every time he drives a tourist up the Mount. He often brings the women things for their children, as it is very difficult not to want to alleviate some of the very apparent suffering these people endure. We saw the stereotypical image of Africa: lots of kids, skinny and unhealthy looking--- kids not even bothering to brush the flies off their faces because they are too weak to do so. These images deeply pained T.; she gave the kids some money... and then quickly realized that doing so only invited more people to congregate. It's a tough call. You want to help everyone, but then see that you just can't. 

Yoftahe saw our hearts, and asked if we wanted to truly help some of these women. He then led us to a store that sells scarves and purses. The women who made these simple, yet attractive items were once women who trudged up and down the mountain, carrying wood. They have been trained to make things so that they can escape the back-breaking work of gathering wood. We purchased many scarves and purses, knowing that it would encourage the women to continue in their new venture.

On Our Way to Ethiopia Tomorrow!

I would appreciate prayers, both for us travelers, and for my family at home. I have many anxious little hearts at home. We leave Friday morning for Washington, D.C. We spend the night there, and then head to Ethiopia on Saturday morning. Our Embassy appointment is Tuesday, May 22, 2012. We return to the States on Saturday, May 26, 2012.

A BIG thank you to my parents who are planning on staying with the kids while I'm gone. My mind and my heart can now be more at ease.

I most likely will not have internet access while in Ethiopia.  So if you're thinking about me, just pray! 

We Cleared!

I found out around 2:00 a.m. that S.'s case has cleared! I submitted our preferred Embassy dates; I hope to find out tomorrow when we travel.

... more later!

A Difficult Mother's Day

Yesterday was hard. Waiting is hard. I know many of you can relate.

It's not that I'm not unbelievably grateful to God for my existing children... I love them all dearly--- but they are home. I know what's going on with each of them. I can hold them, and encourage them, and love them.  But my little guy still waits in an orphanage, I'm sure wondering if and when mommy will ever come to get him. Little ones don't have a very good sense of time. Has he lost hope? I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and grief this Mother's Day. I just want my baby home.

I realize we could get notice of S.'s approval any day. So I haven't lost hope. It's just the waiting. It's the loss of time that I understand can never be recovered. It's just Mother's Day.

My sadness did give me a fresh perspective on how so many women must feel on Mother's Day. I felt pain for all the women who have lost children, all the women who have never been able to have children, all the women who long for and wait to adopt children. My heart breaks in a whole new way. I have a deeper appreciation of the Scripture, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" (Proverbs 13:12). Praise the Lord, that our true hope is in Him, not in man or in anything this world provides.  How can people live and grieve without the One True Hope? I know that even if S. never comes home, I do have the One who gives me eternal life hope. He will walk me through whatever I need to walk through. I can trust Him.

That being said, I did receive some encouraging news this morning. The US Embassy, as per my request, is asking our agency to locate one of the other court witnesses in S.'s case. If one of the other witnesses will actually travel to the Embassy for an interview, S.'s case could be completed. So at least we now have 2 possible options. Perhaps the Ethiopian police will actually get around to writing a letter to the Embassy, documenting the disappearance and search for S.'s grandmother; perhaps the Grandmother's nephew will testify at an interview. Either way, at least I feel a bit of encouragement this morning. Thank you, Lord.

No Grandma... No letter... No Nothin'

I received an email update from Children's House International this morning. The local Ethiopian government is still trying to locate S.'s grandmother. Assuming she can not be located, CHI's social worker is "hopeful" that the Ethiopian government will write a letter for the US Embassy next week. CHI is also "hopeful" that the US Embassy will grant approval after the letter is received. So the wait continues.

I would certainly appreciate your prayers regarding this matter. Little man's case is at the mercy of the Ethiopian government AND the US Embassy.

Here's our timeline since our court appearance:

Court date:  December 1, 2011

Adoption final in Ethiopia:  January 13, 2012

Submitted to US Embassy:  February 28, 2012

Birth Family Interviews (missed):  April 2, 2012 and April 23, 2012

Grandma: MIA

Children's House informed me yesterday that unfortunately, S.'s grandmother is again missing. This does make me question whether or not the woman had ever been located.... Nonetheless, this delays our case yet again. Grandma's US Embassy interview has been cancelled by the Embassy; they obviously do not want to hold an appointment time open if the interviewee will not be present. Hopefully, someone else's case will be moved forward due to this opening.

The next step is for the orphanage to contact the police so that an "official, documented search" can be made. If she is not located, MOWA will issue a letter to the US Embassy stating the new facts of the case. God willing, the US Embassy will then accept the letter and allow S.'s visa to be granted. The agency had actually tried to initiate this step last week, but it was Ethiopian Easter last week.

So again, we wait. I'm sure the wait is much easier for an adult to endure than for a child. Little man has seen and experienced many "going home parties" at the Thomas Center. I'm sure he's wondering when it will be his party.

I was reading and studying the Book of Matthew this morning, and dwelt upon the crucifixion and death of our Lord. I am reminded of His sovereignty over all. I am reminded He is righteous above all. I am reminded that He is just in all His judgments and wrath. I am also reminded that He is loving towards all of His creation. Knowing these truths, how can I lose hope waiting for S.? How can I be sad and worry? He will work all things for our good... and at the perfect time. How great the celebration will be, at that perfect time. 

Latest Photo of My Sweetie

He's growing!

Please, Lord, bring my mommy soon!

This is the first time that looking at S.'s photos have made me sad. Waiting is so hard... but I know that he'll be home in the Lord's perfect timing--- not my own. 

Grandma has been found!

Children's House let me know today that they have successfully located S.'s grandmother; now all we need to do is wait to find out if the US Embassy interview date still holds. I pray that the US Embassy will grant her permission to conduct a phone or video interview so that she will not have to miss several days of work. Yet again, this is totally out of our control. But... thanks be to God--- HE is in control of everything! Just praying for His perfect will to be done in this circumstance. 

And That's Why People Tell You, "Adopt is Not for the Weak at Heart"

Another delay. S.'s grandmother did not show up for her scheduled US Embassy interview. The agency staff has been unable to locate her; she is not living in the same place she did during the initial court appearance. So, the US Embassy has rescheduled her appearance for April 23, 2012. The Embassy has asked CHI to make sure they have located her one week prior to the interview; if she is not "found" one week prior to the 23rd, that interview will be cancelled, as well.

I have heard of several other cases like this, so it's not totally unusual. Birth families are sometimes many days travel from the US Embassy. And since many of them must work daily to survive, families leave for these interviews to travel to Addis at the last possible moment. I have also heard that if these families are even slightly late for their appointment times, the US Embassy refuses to interview them and reschedules their time several weeks from the original date. We might think that this is appropriate; after all, we operate by a punctual court system. Unfortunately, Ethiopians do not live my this same tyranny of the urgent. They do not live by the clock like we would in the US. And, of course, they don't even use the same calendar system as the US... so the whole issue of specific dates and times for interviews may be lost on many of these dear people. Additionally, these people can not take time off work very easily; if they do leave their positions, many lose their jobs or at least lose their pay for the time they are gone. This is not like one of us in the United States taking time off work. We can survive losing a day or two without pay. But for an Ethiopian--- already living day-to-day-- this travel presents a serious, costly hardship.

So, we wait. Again. I'm just counting on the Lord to strengthen me and refine me as we wait. The wait is always for a reason. Adoption most certainly is not for the weak at heart. You think I'd be used to it by now.

Embassy Family Interviewed Scheduled

At long last, S.'s grandmother is scheduled to appear at the US Embassy on April 2, 2012. For those of you not in the adoption loop, the US Embassy now conducts a separate interview of birth families to make sure their oral testimony is consistent with the information found in the child's adoption file. We certainly hope and pray that this part of the process goes smoothly; unfortunately, this is where many families are getting stuck. (My main concern is that S.'s grandmother simply shows up for the interview. She had a very difficult time getting to the Ethiopian court interview because of transportation issues. If she fails to show for her interview, the case might be held in suspicion--- and then it would be sent back for additional investigation.) Even though Ethiopia has already granted our family legal custody of S., the US Embassy still holds the veto power in whether or not the child meets US immigration law and US orphan requirements.

If S.'s case is approved, we are told to expect a travel pick up date as early as a few days after the US Embassy interview. The most notice we have heard people getting for travel is two weeks! So much for getting lower airfares!

The kids are very excited about S.'s home coming. The boys are going through their closets and toy bins, looking for appropriate toys and clothes to pass on to S. Even the more reserved Mr. A. is excited; he is really starting to contemplate what it will mean to him to become a big brother. He gets very wide-eyed at this prospect!

I'm getting into nesting mode as I think of adding another family member. For me, that entails cleaning out closets, drawers, pantry, refrigerator, freezer, etc. When S. comes home, I want to do as little as possible in the house. We "cocoon," meaning we purposefully stay at home and reduce the amount of unnecessary distraction. I cancel anything on the calendar that isn't absolutely critical. That means no friends, no visitors, no outings, no AWANA, no church, no grocery shopping... well, you get the point. The reasoning behind this is to allow this new little guy to adjust to his new parents and siblings. Adoption is unbelievably traumatic for children; it is necessary and prudent to take time to "just be," and learn to relate and to start building some trust. Kids need to learn that we are the parents given to him, and that this new family is always and forever--- not a temporary situation. Additionally, kids need unrestricted time to relax and to feel safe enough to grieve. This is not an automatic--- imagine all the adrenaline within a newly adopted child! You've just had a going away party thrown in your honor, boarded a plane with a stranger, moved to a new country, and get plunged into a new family of unfamiliar faces, sounds, smells, and expectations. This is scary and anxiety provoking experience for our kids, regardless of how happy we may be. We need to allow our kids time to process. And that processing can be pretty sad, loud, fearful, and long.

So in additional to readying my home for S., I must prepare my heart, as well. I am immersing myself in God's Word. I know I can not do this alone. I need to be so filled with Christ's love, that I will be able to pour (and continue pouring) selfless, unconditional love and compassion into this child. That's what "cocooning" is about: wrapping up a child in bountiful love so that he or she feels safe, warm, and tight. Just like it is impossible to spoil a newborn, it is impossible to wrap these kids up in too much love and understanding. Discipline can wait. Correction has it's time. Now is the time to love and love with abandon.

Having been through this process before, I know this won't be an easy task. But one sweet help will be a new quilt that my husband's mother made specially for S. What is so beautiful to me about this quilt is the note my mother-in-law attached to it. The note read, "For S... to keep you warm and wrapped up in LOVE." It really hit me: that quilt is the picture of what I need to do. Keep my baby warm and wrapped up in my love, so that he can eventually understand His love. (Thanks, Grandma.)

Let Me Remember This Feeling...

Goodness, it is such a beautiful day! Clear skies and warm weather add a sweet dimension to the emotional excitement in my heart. Many of you ladies know the feeling: that palpable joy that permeates your soul, knowing your little one will be home soon.

No, we don't have an Embassy date yet. But our agency did let me know that assuming all goes well with S.'s grandmother showing up for her Embassy interview, we should be traveling next month. I am SO ready to have my little guy home!

Oh Lord, let me remember this feeling.

Let me remember this joy when S. is grieving. Help me to respond with grace and kindness. Help me to take the time to weep with him. Help me to truly be present with him in his distress.

Let me remember this joy when S. is acting out and being disobedient. Help me to be firm, yet forgiving and encouraging. Remind me of all the times I've needed your forgiveness when I've been disobedient. Help me to see the good and praise the progress.

Let me remember this joy when I'm so exhausted I can't think any more. Help me to remember that fatigue doesn't last forever, and that Your grace will give me strength when I'm weak. Remind me that is is okay to ask for help when I can't do what I feel I must.

Let me remember this joy when my older kids are adjusting to a new family member. Help me to lead my family by example; help me to listen to their feelings, without judgement or sarcasm. Teach me to comfort my children and not add to their anxieties and frustrations.

Let me remember this joy, Lord, and continue to celebrate each and every day you give me with my family. Please teach me not to take any of my dear ones for granted. Please don't let me take You for granted.

Can't wait, little man. I just can't wait to hold you in my arms and begin being your mommy.